love

I met my soon-to-be wife on eHarmony.

The site's claim of matching people up based on some compatibility questionnaire is absurd. I was on the site twice, each time for about 6 months, and I was matched with 3,000 people. The power of an instant deep connection, which they prophesize in their ads, is thrown out the window as soon as you're bombarded with 10 new matches every day.

What matters at this point? First impressions.

Both her and I said we were excited about each other's profile. How often do you think I felt that? Maybe one out of every 100 profiles. I saw profiles I liked, I started communicating with a number of women, but only 1% of my matches made me excited and hopeful.

How is this important?

You could use your first impression to make yourself presentable to the highest number of people possible. You can get your foot in the door right away with ease.

On the other hand, you could use your first impression to snare the people you want and get most everyone else to go away. You speed up the process by doing this.

I'm glad my profile snared the right person in the end.

Last night was different.

I’ve been packing my things for the past two and a half weeks. A week ago I picked up the keys to my soon-to-be apartment and began moving my stuff in. Every day after work I drop off whatever boxes and things I could stuff in my car’s trunk and backseat, go home, eat, and begin packing again so I may reload my car before heading off to bed. Saturday’s move will be much easier because of all this.

Last night I began going through and packing my stuff. By stuff I mean things like the coconut monkey my best friend gave me from his summer-long stay in Hawaii. Random items sitting on bookshelves and bureaus, waiting to be placed in a cardboard box and probably opened last after the things I want most have been unpacked and put away. On top of my bureau were some ticket stubs to concerts and movies. I sifted through them and saw one which caught my eye, something I did not know I had kept.

It was a movie pass to the “U23D” IMAX show I went to at the New England Aquarium.Read more

The most important alignment in your life is the one between you and the people you are closest to. Your spouse/significant other, friends, coworkers and boss(es). They who are around you constantly.

Let me back up a step to explain. When you’re looking for a job, a business partner, a spouse, or a friend, what is it you are looking for? I bet if you answer that question for each area you’ll see patterns, and those patterns revolve around who you are and who you want to be. Once you know what you’re looking for it’s easier for you to determine if a job/partner/spouse/friend is a good fit.

This is not the concept of spending most of your time around people who fit you and what you want to become. Oh no, it’s bigger than that. The best relationships I’ve had in life in all four of those categories have been with people who shared core beliefs with me in ways that fit each relationship. I’ll show you what I mean.Read more

For me, Opening Day in baseball is like Christmas or my birthday.

The playoffs in October are when I chew my nails off watching games.

After going to my first Red Sox game when I was 8 years old I began asking my father to take me to Opening Day with him. He told me he’d do it my senior year of high school. I’m not sure if he thought I’d give up, forget what he said, or if he was testing me. Every year I reminded him of his promise, and sure enough I went to Opening Day with him my senior year of high school. I was so giddy I told my teachers I was going to Opening Day – forget about “calling in sick,” I was going to Fenway Park and no one could stop me.Read more

Would you rather have someone offer to help you with a mistake you made, or punish you for making the mistake?

In 2001 Portugal decided to decriminalize drug possession (dealing is still illegal), replacing jail time with meeting with a “Dissuasion Commission.” These 3-person commissions have at least one lawyer or judge and one health care or social worker, and they recommend treatment, impose a small fine, or send the person on their way.Read more

I think we could all use some good news, so here’s my latest bit: the company I work for, AiM&M, hired another employee today as we expand again.

A lot of the people I’ve interviewed these past few months have talked about security. Security means different things to different people. There are two main ideas about security people talked about with me.Read more

Valentine’s Day. Ask a dozen people what it means to them and you’ll get answers ranging from “The number one day of love,” to “A day to remind people I care about them,” to “Forget about Valentine’s Day,” to “What? It’s Valentine’s Day? Oh man, I gotta get flowers/chocolate/card ASAP!” Let’s face it: love is such a strong emotion that it brings out the best, worst, and sometimes the strangest parts of all of us. Love, not Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is not love and caring; it’s a holiday, whereas love and caring are things we should be sharing all year long.

Ask yourself: do I need Valentine’s Day to show someone I love how much I care about them?

Here’s an even bigger question: if there was no Valentine’s Day, would my special someone know I cared?Read more